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She should have been tougher. Christine continued, “Amber has set up a diary. Every morning before you leave for work you will send an email, to everyone, telling us if you have been spanked that morning or the evening before. If you have then Amber will place the cushion on your chair. Amber will take your knickers from you. No need to go to the ladies as everyone knows what is happening anyway. You can step out of them by your desk and Amber will check you don’t have any others. No more secrets eh Nina?” Christine got up, went over to Nina, gave her a pat on her bottom, and said, “Come back out when you are ready Nina. Lots to do.” Christine left and Nina felt like crying, except she didn’t cry, she was already thinking how to get her own back, and more importantly how to regain control of her department. She sat for several minutes calming herself down. After all Nina had been knocked before and bounced back. She will again. She made her way back to her desk. She caught people’s. " Possibly, just possibly, Tina might understand this. "Back to that place after Tammy died. It's the disease, at least that's what I call it now. I just let the dragons pull me in. I'm grown up now Tina, they can't hold me anymore. It took me a while to realize that all they ever represented was the truth about the leukemia. When I realized all I had to do was admit the truth, that what I denied myself and the promises made to Tammy were wrong, it was easy." So you just went back? Just like that, back into your mind where you couldn't get out before?" Yeah, I left some things there. I thought I'd be better if I got them out. Part of me, memories of Tammy, part of the music. I had to leave them then to escape when I was thirteen." I believe you Tony, but it sounds damn dangerous to me." Not really. The music keeps me OK in there now that I admit the truth. But it didn't work like I thought. The parts of me that were there, they really aren't a part of me anymore. I think it would have.
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